How To Get Your Ex Back – The SUPERCHARGED 5 Step Guide

win your ex backRelationship breakups are really heart breaking. It is disappointing to live without the person you love most in your life. You are ready to do anything to get your ex back, you are ready to beg to your ex to get back in your life. WAIT! Read this carefully this is not the right way to get your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend back.

If you search for how to get your ex back then you will find there are thousands of relationship courses from relationship courses that promises to help you in getting your ex back but let me tell you honesty. Most of these online ex back courses are just useless.

Do you think you able to get your ex back by dating with someone else just to make your ex jealous?

Do you think you able to get your ex back by pretending to don’t care about your previous relationship?

Do you think you able to get your ex back when you somehow trick them to sleep with you?

Do you think you able to get your ex if you tell your friends and family members that you love them and need their help?

If you use any of these tricks you only will be destroying your chances for getting your ex for long lasting relationship. You may able to get your ex by tricking them but this will be only short-lived. Your ex will leave you again by finding the old problems in relationship are still there.

If you want your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend to come back in your life and stay with you forever then you can’t go to old relationship without fixing the problems that lead to breakup in the first place.

After breakup you have wonderful opportunity to re-discover the love, passion and emotions that you had once before getting into your previous relationship. Here I want to point out that you just can’t get your ex back by just searching about how to get your ex back or by reading hundreds of books on getting ex back. You have to make your efforts if you want to get into relationship once again with your ex.

And the advice and steps you going to find in this website will surely help you in recovering from deep pain of breakup and help you in connecting with your ex on deep emotional level so your bond will get stronger with every passing day.

Another thing you have to keep in mind is…

“Just Because You Got Breakup In Relationship That Doesn’t Mean You Are Bad Person”

If you want to make yourself capable to win your ex back again then you have to stop blaming yourself. Breakups are part of relationship and even strongest couple sometime suffer from breakup as well. Just because you are suffering from breakup doesn’t mean you are bad person.

Keep in mind, strongest couples are not the ones that live happy every time. They are the ones that know from their personal experience how to grow love when things are not in right track.

So, Are you ready to work on yourself and bring your ex back in your life without losing your self-confidence?

Alright let’s start…

Are You Ready To Get Your Ex Back?

how to get your ex backIn this website, you are going to find 5 steps to bring your ex back in your life. All these 5 steps are equally important and you just can’t skip any one of them just because you don’t like it. These 5 steps help you in becoming better person that your ex can’t ignore.

In the 1st Step you are going to learn how to recover from the immediate grief that you get right after the breakup.

Once you re-gain control over your emotions then in the 2nd step you will find out reasons and causes that lead to breakup. You just can’t go to old relationship with just a simple apology. You have to fix the old problem that leads to breakup to win your ex back once again.

In the 3rd Step you will find strategies that help you overcome your angry feelings. It is impossible to experience breakup without feeling anger, broken, fear of rejection etc. And if you want your ex back in your life then you have to remove these feelings from yourself.

You will get together with your ex in the 4th Step. Don’t jump to this step without doing previous three steps. This is because a little break is important in the relationship as this will increase your value and creates the feeling of loss in your ex’s mind.

The 5th Step is very important because you will learn how to talk about the breakup with your ex. It is impossible for couples to not talk about breakup once they meet after few months. Therefore, in this step you will learn how to talk with your ex and end your conversation on good and joyful level.

All these 5 steps are equally important and your success is depend on these 5 steps. I believe in you and I know you are strong enough to complete these steps and win your ex once again.

Step #1 – Get Out From Immediate Grief:

get out from griefAfter breakup I know you are getting all sort of terrible feelings from time to time. It is difficult to spend time without the one you love most in your life.

First thing to do is, stop contacting your ex

The best way to get out from this immediate grief of losing someone is to stop contacting them.

Yes! I know it is really difficult for you to stop all the contact ways with the one you love most but for the sake of getting your ex back you have to take this step and you can ignore it in any way. If you contact your ex without being in control of your emotions then most probably you will hurt your chances of getting them.

If doesn’t matter how happy your ex is looking these days, you have to understand your ex is also suffering from the terrible feeling of breakup. If you try to beg for one more chance it will simply hurt you only.

Breakup is terrible for both the parties in a relationship and both the persons have to overcome from this grief to think about the future of the relationship.

Focus on Opportunity:

If you want to win your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend back then you have to understand that your breakup doesn’t happen from no where. There is solid reasons behind it and now you have opportunity to focus on your old relationship and look where it is not perfect.

Never try to contact your ex until you find out these reasons and take advantage of the opportunity to improve your relationship.

Keep in mind that your breakup didn’t happen just because you did something wrong or you said something wrong or you were not prettier enough to be with your ex or you gave too much to your ex for too little efforts.

It is good to don’t blame yourself or your ex for the breakup. Now you have the opportunity to put your old relationship under the scanner and look what are reasons behind the breakup. Take a look at these 4 steps to get out from Grief

Step #2 – Analyze Your Past Relationship:

Many people think that looking back at the past relationship is just too tortuous and a waste of time. These people believe that they can’t change their past and instead want to know things that they can fix now and get back with their ex.

Looking at your previous relationship will give you some clues about where crisis start occurring in your relationship. You will find out what steps needs to be taken to stop committing same mistakes again and again.

Like Police Officer looking at the motor vehicle accident area to determine the cause, you have to revisit the relationship and breakup to find out what lessons you can learn from your past.

Many people think that their breakup was a mistake, despite your feeling about the breakup but you should understand it occurs for a reason. You will never get your ex back unless you discover the exact REASON of the breakup. Don’t contact your ex without knowing the exact cause of the breakup.

Keep Calm And Think About Your Past Relationship

Although you feel like being single is the worst feeling for you. However, this is the golden opportunity to learn something.

The first thing you have to do is to reframe your way of thinking. You cannot control the way things happens in your world, but you surely can control how these things affect your life and what you learn from them.

It depends on you if you want to ignore this opportunity and run to make same mistakes again and again or you want to learn from this situation can fix things.

Now you are separated from your ex, and you are suffering from one of the worst feelings in your life, but you have to realize your situation is calling you to learn from these mistakes.

For this, I suggest to take pen and paper to start writing your thoughts:

Good Things In Your Relationship:

  • What is good in your relationship?
  • How you both communicate with each other?
  • When was the last time you both spend holidays together?
  • Do you have a regular sex life?
  • Do you regularly go to dinner, vacations and holidays together?
  • What attracts you to your partner?
  • What qualities they have that they love?
  • How often you bought flowers, chocolates, accessories for your partner?

Room For Improvement In Your Relationship:

  • What is bad in your relationship?
  • Where do you feel your communication let you down and create misunderstandings?
  • Are you happy with the sexual intimacy in your relationship?
  • What qualities of your partner do you hate most?
  • Looking at the beginning of your relationship, where you think your partner has changed?
  • How often you disagree with your partner and starts an argument?

Once you complete the above exercise, you will able to see your relationship through clear and objective eyes. The idea of this exercise is not to judge you or your partner instead it is to examine your relationship dynamics.

Once you know what is good and bad in your relationship, you will be more efficient in fixing what wrong in the relationship rather than making same mistakes again and again.

Don’t Blame Yourself Instead Share The Blame:

The next step for you is to share each and everything that happen in the relationship. It is not your mistake if you are single now. You have to realize your relationship is a partnership where you both have emotionally invested equally. The success and failure emotionally affect both of you.

Doesn’t matter who broke the relationship first, the truth is both of you get many raw feelings, and it is important to recognize that. You need to allow yourself to do whatever to want to do to let the emotions come out. However, it is important to set a time limit. After that period, you have to forget everything and process forward to recover from it.

Exercise – Rewind And Recover:

This exercise is created to take some theory of this guide and apply it to your relationship. This short exercise will encourage to examine your relationship’s strength and weakness.

The reason you should need to do this exercise is you have to build your new relationship stronger. Your old relationship ended as soon as your ex leaves you. Now you have to pick the strength of your past relationship and build a new relationship while avoiding the mistakes of your previous relationship.

By doing this small ‘Rewind And Recover’ exercise, you will be avoiding your past mistakes in the new relationship.

Step 1 – Take A Step Back:

If you created three lists above, read it once again. Read each point of these lists and consider how each point make you feel.

  • Do you feel happy?
  • Do you feel sad?
  • Do you feel sorry for your past behavior?
  • How do you want to change each point if you could?

Make a list of these things and try to change yourself. Make choices that make you happy, choices that get you feel positive and choices that make you love your ex even if they don’t like you now.

Step 2 – Visualize:

Now I want you to build the picture in your mind of scenarios from past relationship where you both have arguments with each other. List down a chain of events that you can change yourself which avoided arguments. By Implemented those changes how much it affected the outcome. How do you feel now?

Step 3 – Being Strong:

The inner strength you are going to develop now will help you in your most difficult times as you go through the painful process of getting ex back. You have to believe in your dedication, your ability to remain positive and ability to learn from the situation. You have to believe in your love for your ex and the support you will get from your friends and family members in getting back together with your ex.

Create a list of affirmations and great quotes that remind you of your goal and read them every day. Revise them and change them periodically. Believe in your ability to guide you through difficult times and help you in getting your ex back.

Step #3 – Control Your Anger:

Here I want to say it loudly, “If you get your ex without controlling your anger then you will be pushing them further from you”

Overcome angerThe problem is, we are more satisfying in fixing something we break rather than fixing issues that make us broke things in the first place.

For example, if we bump on the table and glass vessel fall off to the floor then our first reaction would be to fix the glass vessel. We are not ready to fix the underlying issue that makes us to bump on the table.

Similarly if you don’t control your anger and only fix the mistakes that happened in the previous relationship then you only end up having leaky vessel which will break sooner or later. You have to guarantee that if you replace old vessel with new one then it would not happen again.

This is very crucial step…

Most people like to jump from 1st to 4th step (initiating contact with ex) without fixing the problems and then they either end up losing their chance of getting ex or their relationship wouldn’t last long enough.

You wouldn’t get your ex back until you change yourself or your ex. And the only person you can control is YOU.

3-Step Plan To Overcome Your Anger

If you want to get your ex back then, you need to control your anger instead of allowing your anger to control you. Sometimes it becomes difficult for the hardest person to control anger. For this reason, I created this 3-step plan to overcome your anger:

  • Step #1 – Accept you are still feeling angry
  • Step #2 – Accept your breakup instead of ignoring it
  • Step #3 – Release hurt and anger through forgiveness exercise

Step #1 – Accept You Are Still Feeling Angry:

Keep in mind, whenever a relationship ends, there are anger feelings on both sides. It is necessary to acknowledge your anger feeling because if anger goes unacknowledged and doesn’t come out of the surface, then it creates abusive behavior at wrong places.

You may have one or all of these three different kinds anger after a breakup. These are:

  • You are angry with yourself
  • You are angry with your ex
  • You are angry with the situations you can’t change
Angry With Yourself:

angerIt doesn’t matter if you are the one who broke the relationship first or your ex broke up with you, I can say many things are making you angry with yourself.

Maybe you think you shouldn’t have done what you did, or you shouldn’t say what you said. Or you should have talked about the problems before when you first saw them.

It doesn’t matter if these reasons are valid or not. You are human, you have angry feelings, and you can get angry on reasons if they are rational or not.

Angry With Your Ex:

It may be possible there are numbers of things that your ex was doing that make you uncomfortable. For example, she may leave all her crap in the bathroom, and you get angry for not having any space for your stuff. Or she may yell at you for watching television and drinking a beer when you are in the mood of unwinding yourself.

If you dig deeper, you will find many things that make you uncomfortable with your ex. However, you keep on ignoring them thinking it wasn’t worth getting into an argument over. By ignoring these small things, you have allowed them to become a full-blown breakup.

YES!!! These small things grew into a massive meltdown that causes the breakup.

Angry With The Situation:

Sometimes, you can get angry with the situation you are in. For example, you don’t have enough money to do cool things with your ex OR your ex’s parents making the life hell for you OR you are angry because you have to work long hours and don’t get enough time to see your ex.

External situations can influence the relationship as much as two partners in it. It is important for you to acknowledge the situations that lead to the tension that causes a breakup. You should acknowledge the situations that you can’t change.

Again, I would say, it doesn’t matter if your reasons for getting anger are valid or not. What important is, you should acknowledge these reasons to recover from them instead of allowing them to control your life and relationship.

Feeling anger on things you can’t change doesn’t make you silly, stupid or weak. It just means you are human and all human often feels anger in situations that they can’t change.

Acknowledging Your Anger Feelings:

You may be wondering why I should even remember my old mistakes and relationship problems when I left them out in step 1 to overcome grief and sorrow.

There is a big difference in acknowledging your problems rather than allowing them to control you. Knowing you have anger feeling in the objective sense will help you to control your emotions in the better way.

Once your anger is out, you can see the actual reason behind it. You will decide on how to respond these angry feelings instead of avoiding them. If you continue ignoring your anger reasons they will continue to hunt you down and make your life easy.

So, if you want to find out the actual reason behind your anger and want to overcome it then try this anger exercise.

Anger Exercise:

First thing, take a piece of paper and pen and create three lists:

  • The first list is for, “Why I am angry with myself?”
  • The second list is for, “Why I am angry with my ex?”
  • The third list is for, “Why I am angry with the situation I am in?”

You should create this three list even if you feel you are not angry at all.

You don’t have to create a list in one sitting, do them in several sittings, and you can also put this paper on your work desk and add up points as you think about them.

Once you finish writing, now you should find a private and quiet place where no one can disturb you. Start reading each reason one by one and feel each emotion that comes to you. Don’t feel ashamed by reading these reasons. These are the reasons that making you angry and this doesn’t make you a bad person.

If you want to express your feeling then JUST DO IT. You may want to yell, cry or even beat a pillow. Do whatever you want to do but just don’t hurt yourself or someone else.

Once you fully expressed your feelings now, you should fold the paper and put it in an envelope and put it somewhere. You are going to need this list in next section. Don’t talk about these reasons with your ex you are not ready now. It would need little more work before you can again contact your ex.

Once you are done you feel better now. RIGHT?

It doesn’t matter how you feel these anger emotions the most important thing is HOW YOU REACT TO THEM. It is your choice if you want to react to them appropriately or inappropriately.

Step #2 – Accept Your Breakup Instead Of Ignoring It

When you lose a person that you love most in your life, you feel angry at the universe to make it happen. You wish so much that it never happened but now you have to realize that it has actually happened.

If you want to heal your anger, then you have to accept your breakup. Your breakup has happened, and it can’t undone.

You both are not together now doesn’t matter if you meant to be live together. You can’t act like you are still together, keep on remembering your old memories, and expect your ex not to date someone else – this is simply not an option.

You may not come out of your previous relationship; you feel your breakup was unfair, and you deserve to have better. If you want to win the love of your ex, then you have to accept that your breakup indeed happens and it happens for a reason.

Once you accept that you and your ex aren’t together, then you have to start learning how to get your ex back. You have to simply start from the beginning as you can’t undo what you have done and what you have said.

I know it would be difficult for you, but you have to accept it.

You may want to have a magic wand to fix all things that happen in the past and get back with your ex. However, thinking about something that can’t happen is just wasting your time. Instead, you have to invest your time in real and proven ways to get ex back.

If you did something wrong or said something painful, then you can’t simply apologize with your ex and expect your ex to forget everything. However, there is still a chance to get your ex back again.

By ignoring, denying, hiding what happened in the past is just only going to make things hurtful. However, By acknowledging what has happened in the past can make things easier for you.

Step #3 – Release hurt and anger through forgiveness exercise

“Holding your anger is like holding a burning coal in your hands with intentions to throwing it someone else. You are the one who gets burned.”

In this last step, you will learn how to let go your anger with forgiveness exercises. WAIT! Don’t think forgiveness is easy, if it does then I wouldn’t be writing this section.

What is Forgiveness?

power of forgivenessProblem is we don’t understand the hidden meaning of forgiveness.

“Forgiveness takes places when you honestly feel good for someone else. It takes place when you restore your relationship instead of avoiding it. Forgiveness takes place when no past actions hold a present bearing. Forgiveness becomes real when hate replaces love.”

In the light of above definition, I would like to ask few questions:

  • Have you forgiven your ex and yourself for everything that you or your ex said or did in the past?
  • Have you forgiven your ex for breaking up with you (or forgiven yourself for breaking up with your ex)?
  • Can you look at your breakup with acceptance rather than hurt and shame?

I know asking these questions are tough for you but keep in mind, forgiveness can’t change past, but it surely enlarges future.

If you don’t forgive your ex then here is what happen when you both get in a new relationship:

Reason Why Not Forgiving Will Destroy Your Relationship In Future
  1. Your ex will not feel comfortable without really knowing why
  2. You did feel you proven yourself worthy by overcoming the shame of breaking up.
  3. You continue feeling guilty of what your ex said or did in the nasty arguments

Now you know how not forgiving your ex or yourself will hurt your chances even in a new relationship. Take a look at how forgiveness helps you in creating a relationship that lasts forever.

Reasons Why Forgiving Helps Your Relationship To last Forever:
  1. Forgiveness will make you enjoy, and your partner will live happily around you
  2. Forgiveness takes out burden out from you and you able to attract your ex once again with your inner beauty
  3. Forgiveness can make you confident to make your relationship work this time around as you know you have forgiven all your and your ex mistakes.
  4. Forgiveness can make your life easier because you will get back to your happy and loving self

Now, the big question is how to do it?

Forgiveness Exercise:

First thing, find a safe and quiet place where no one can disturb you. Dim the light and turn on soft, soothing music.

Take deep breaths, feel the tension is flowing out every time you exhale. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths.

Once you are done, open your eyes and find the list you made in Anger Exercise above. Hold the envelope in your hand and feel how light it is. Things that putting the burden of tension on you is, as small and light as a feather.

Take the list out, focus on the first thing that makes you angry and leaves out others on the list, as they are not important right now.

Bring out the memory when what makes you write that thing. If you don’t remember the specific situation, then let your imagination fills it. Close your eyes and improve your focus, remembering the anger-producing-memory as clearly as possible.

Now feel like a healing light is flowing from the center of the body spreading the scene of golden glow. Imagine this healing light is wrapping around the anger memory and removing it with the sweetness of forgiveness.

Spend as much time as possible with the first item and look it with the feeling of acceptance rather than the feeling of anger and hurt.

When you are ready, look down the reason that makes you angry and say it loud:

“I forgive you for _______________”

Now process to next reason and repeat the process.

When you complete this list then say it loud:

“I forgive myself.”

“I forgive my ex.”

“I forgive what pulled us apart.”

Once done fold the paper and put it in the envelope again.  Now you should destroy it. You can either burn it or rip it apart. What matters is, the destruction of this Anger list signifies the completion of the forgiveness process.

Now you no longer feel anger with the reasons that make you angry before. You have forgiven everything that you or your ex did in the heat of an argument, and now you are ready to move towards new and brighter future.

Step #4 – Initiate Contact:

I would like to congratulate you if you make it to this step without contacting your ex. However, if you contact your ex in between or you skip the other steps then I would strongly suggest you to start from the first step again as above three steps are very crucial for your success in getting your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend back.

By cutting off your contact with your ex you will get numerous benefits such as:

  • You will overcome from the terrible feelings of breakup
  • You will get more time to search about how to get your ex back and read this website couple to times to understand it better
  • You will get time to work on yourself and re-create a new and fresh life
  • You will allow your ex to feel the taste of life living without you.

If you initiate contact without going no contact with your ex then it will only hurt your chances and you will NOT get your ex back.

Step #5 – Talking About Breakup

This is very important step for how to get your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend back because this step not only help you to get your ex back but also keep them with you forever. However, I decided to create this plan as an email series. This will provide you each tip every day so you can use it with maximum benefits.

So, subscribe to this email series by entering your email and name only and you will receive each lesson every day.

 

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