Do you want to get out from grief? Here are four steps:
Step 1 – Remove Your Focus From Relationship
You are at the stage of your relationship where you have to understand that your relationship is the PART of your life and it is not your WHOLE life. Although you want your ex to be your whole life but this type of feeling is awkwardly scary.
You have lot of things to be grateful for in your life. May be you are enjoying your job, may be you have lot of friends that take care about you or may be you have good family to enjoy with.
I want you to do a short exercise, take a paper and create a list of three things.
The first list should be of, all those things that you are grateful for in your life
The second list should be of, all those things you want in the future
The third list should be of, all those things you want to do in your future
I want you to take as much time as possible in creating this list (minimum 20 minutes). I know you will feel awkward in the beginning and want to correct things that gone wrong in your relationship. But, trust me this will help you to get your ex back.
Once you finished creating this list, read each and every thing in your list and allow yourself to feel whatever feelings you get by reading them.
Now, I want you to realize the person you are now – the person who is grateful of things in his life, the person who has objectives to achieve in his life, the person who is looking for the future. This is the type of person that will attract your ex NOT the person who only keeps his focus on relationship and nothing else.
Step 2 – Think About YOU and not about your Ex
It doesn’t matter how much harder you try, you can’t control anyone else expect YOU.
You simply can’t shake your ex and put some sense to understand you both are meant to live together. You can’t control any one and this is the reality of life.
In this time you have to remove your ex from your mind and focus on YOURSELF
- What you want to be in your life?
- What things make you happy?
- What’s the one thing that can put smile on your face instantly?
Although you were focused to think as a ‘soul mate’ or as a ‘better half’ but now you have to think about all those things that make you happy. If you want to get back together with your ex then you have to gain control of your life.
Step 3 – Distract Yourself
If you want to win your ex back then you have to gain the power in your life. It is possible you decide you don’t replaying your breakup in your mind but you can’t stop feeling about it.
One of the best ways to overcome the feelings of sorrow, anger and broken is to expressing them instead of avoiding them. Trust me there is nothing wrong in feeling broken and upset for the person you love is not in your life anymore.
It is important to empress your feelings and let them come out from you because when your mind is ready to put ‘action plan’ to win your ex back, the heart will lag behind.
Setting a Time Limit
You may be thinking what will your friends will say, but feeling these emotions is completely Okay. If your friends are avoiding you because you don’t talk anything else except about your ex or they are not inviting you to the party because you always bring things down then it is the time to set yourself a time limit.
It is important to set yourself a time limit of how long you allow yourself to feel these emotions. This can be two weeks or two months. It all depends on how much time you want to give yourself to get over them.
During that period do whatever you want to do to bring these feelings out from your body. Take a leave from your job, close yourself in dark room, stay in bed for whole day, play breakup song, write sad poetry, break glass… whatever you like. Don’t sensor your emotions – let them come out. Only thing you can’t do is to contact your ex – and this is non-negotiable.
Once the time limit has passed you have to stop talking about your ex with your friends, don’t stay at bed, no replaying your breakup. You have to get out from bed, exercise and read motivation books. It is important to start your social life again and become desirable person your ex will fall in love with.
If you find your mind replaying the memories of breakup then you should distract it by going for a walk, reading a book, cook a meal, fix appliance or play music instrument. Do whatever it takes to distract you until the feelings go away.
It is important to know this step is focusing about YOU.
Step 4 – End Old Relationship
You may be very much attach with your old relationship and don’t want to end. However, there is solid reason to end your old relationship.
I want you to realize that getting back with your ex doesn’t mean you have to bring back old relationship.
This is because your old relationship was flawed and this is why it comes to an end.
If you want long lasting relationship with your ex then you have to create NEW RELATIONSHIP with your ex that doesn’t contain any of the friction points that caused your previous relationship to break up.
Don’t feel sad about losing your old relationship. Let it go, so you can make new relationship that is going to last forever.
Here are few ways to end your old relationship
Remove Ex’s Memories – First of all, you have to remove all the items of your ex. Collect each item of your ex including clothes, jewelries, gifts, CDs etc, put them in a box and put it somewhere out of sight
Remove Photos Of Old Relationship – Next, you have to collect all photos of your previous relationship and put them in the hole of your backyard and say something like ‘good-bye’ to them
Write a ‘good-bye’ letter – Next step is to write a ‘good-bye’ letter and write down each and everything that you want say to your ex but you never said. Once you done writing a letter, put them into an envelope and burn it.